One for all, all for a collectible figurine
by Vianerd
Summary: K. Rool loses one of his collectibles! Krusha has a stomachache! And Klump is... just there to provide witty comments, as usual! Short and silly... again. Contains some elements from the TV show. Minor language warning.


_Alrighty then, here's a silly one-shot from no other than me, myself, and I! I just had to get this on paper. Readers beware however as this one can get a bit disgusting at parts, and some minor foul language as well. SO OKAY ENJOY LOL if that's even possible. Also, some Banjo-Kazooie references at no extra cost included!  
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><p>He awoke screaming.<p>

One of his prized new Dinosaur Planet collectible figures had disappeared, the place where it stood was empty, leaving nothing behind. What redundant prose. But so he yelled, jumped out of his bed, quickly put on his longest cape and his little crown, and ran outside.

K. Rool quickly saw a small monkey running about with what appeared to be his figure. He ran towards him and attempted to snatch the thing from Diddy Kong's hands.  
>"What th- leave me alone, pond-gack!" the small monkey called after the green tyrant.<br>"You stole it!" K. Rool complained. "It's not fair! You stole it! Youstoleityoustoleityou-"  
>Diddy snatched the figure back. "No I didn't," he said. He rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. "I've got the receipt right here!"<br>K. Rool didn't know whether to frown or weep. Instead, he went to the other side of the isle, to find out who could possibly have taken his prized collectible...

Meanwhile, back in his hideout, K. Rool's lackeys were meandering about minding their own business. Well, most of them, at least.  
>"King K'Rool, sir!"<br>It was Klump, his loyal general. He attempted to find where the king went off to now, but had no success. He did not know that the king had ran away to reclaim his stolen possession. While he was busy attempting to find out where he could be, he ran into Krusha.  
>The two of them were very close since Krusha was raised by Klump and K. Rool ever since he was a baby, even though they weren't related by blood. For the last couple of years, the king and his general had made sure he grew up strong and healthy.<br>But now, he wasn't that strong and healthy. He was clutching his stomach and his face was awfully pale.  
>"What's wrong, Krusha?" Klump asked, genuinely concerned. Krusha shook his head.<br>"No... yer not alright. You can just say so, you know... Oh my goodness, what happened to you this time, bud?"  
>The blue Kremling shivered. "...pain in my gut," he said softly. "...hurts."<br>Klump consoled him and made him sit down. "That's not too good, is it? Tsk... and what with K. Rool out and about while you're sick.. didn't you tell him?"  
>"...didn't dare," Krusha mumbled. "he was so angry... scary..."<br>"I'll think of something, buddy, don't worry," Klump said quickly. "This probably won't work, but it's worth a shot. Can you walk?"

So, a short while later, they were marching, or something similar, through the nearest jungle. Klump kept rambling about things he considered funny, such as when K. Rool got his head stuck in a barrel, to cheer his friend up, but Krusha didn't say anything and instead slunk behind him silently. He did not know what his old friend was up to, and he didn't care, either. All he wanted was to get rid of this awful stomach bug.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the bushes, Diddy Kong was busy playing with his girlfriend, Dixie Kong. (That sounded so wrong.)  
>"No, you can't do that, Prince Tricky has used his force field!"<br>"Can too! General Scales can pierce your silly little force field just fine! Take that!"  
>"Argh! Kremling! Get in the bushes!"<br>"There are no Kremlings on Dinosaur Pl- EEK!"  
>Diddy looked up to the bushes to see a fat lizard general looking at him. Diddy quickly grabbed hold of some rocks.<br>"Get away, pond-gack, or I'll bash your head in!"  
>"Put those away," Klump said, not impressed at all. He still adjusted his helmet, just in case. "It will take more than a few ol' rocks to scare me away, heh..."<br>"What do you want?" Dixie squeaked. One could hear the fear in her voice.  
>"Listen, you two – I've got a serious problem here. Can we talk, like good ol'-fashioned adults, here?"<br>"I'm not an adult," Diddy interrupted. "And I don't feel much for acting nice towards a natural enemy."  
>"Whatever. My pal Krusha here is really not well today. Really, <em>really<em> not well. Cut us some slack, will you? We have to take him to a hospital or somethin'."  
>Diddy frowned. "And your point is?"<br>"The nearest hospital is over th' ocean. Could we perhaps, for only once, use that funky monkey's airplane?"  
>"Don't bet on it. I'd love to see you shrivel away together," Diddy said. Dixie laughed. "Why would we help out the enemy?"<br>Klump lost it. He inched closer, and freaking _bared his teeth_ like some primordial beast. Heck, he almost _growled_. "Krusha is my bestest pal in the whole wide world and if he dies I'm totally gonna blow up myself..."  
>The two monkeys were frightened out of their wits. Good.<br>"...right under Donkey Kong's tree house, ya hear?"  
>Dixie began crying. Diddy embraced her, murmuring comforting words to her and hurling a few filthy insults at the Kremling. Klump suddenly felt sick, guilty and ashamed at once.<br>"Oh dear, what have I done this time? See, I'm sorry. I just... can't think of losing him for the world."  
>Dixie looked up. "I see what you mean..." she said but kept sobbing. Diddy said nothing.<br>"Never mind... c'mon Krusha, let's go home."  
>The large blue Kremling looked back to the two monkeys. He saw the sadness in their eyes, and they saw his. Diddy certainly thought he had seen that look before somewhere. Finally, Diddy made a decision that could probably bring the whole Kong family in danger.<br>"Alright, you can go. Just tell them DK approved your request."  
>Klump jumped up and began running towards Funky's Flights, being extremely grateful. Krusha just smiled and waved to the two before following his friend.<p>

"DK sent you? Dude, give me one good reason why I should believe that."  
>"I'll skin you with my teeth if you don't let us... I'm sorry."<br>Funky slapped his hand to his face, seemingly unimpressed. "Alright, but don't tell no-one, okay, dudes?"

"Take as long as you'd like, scaly dudes, but please get back before it gets dark!"  
>That they did. The buildings rose up into the sky, somewhat frightening the two who had almost never been out into the city.<br>"Hospital... hospital... where's the bloody hospital," Klump cursed under his breath, making sure Krusha was following him.  
>"Cussing is bad," the sickly Kremling said.<br>Klump smiled wryly. "I'm sorry, Krusha."  
>They kept searching, asking some villagers where the nearest hospital was located, but most of them ran off, frightened considering they had heard a lot of bad things about the Kremling Korps in the past.<br>"Hey, guys? We're not on duty, we won't – oh, never mind..."  
>Klump kept blathering about a wide array of subjects but Krusha said nothing. He was usually silent, but this was odd even for him.<br>Suddenly, a bear walked past. This was highly unusual, seeing as just about the only animals around here were rhinoceroses, penguins, and pigs. The two Kremlings approached the bear.  
>"Excuse me, miss," Klump began. Surely enough the young female bear didn't run away. "Do you know where the nearest hospital is around here? My friend here is really unwell and we don't know what to do, you see, and-"<br>"Oh, I know," she interrupted him. "Follow me."  
>The two did as they were told. It was an odd sight – two large crocodilians following a small, pig-tailed bear.<br>"I'm fairly well-known here," she said. She pointed at a small shop. "I've got my own fruit shop..."  
>"Tooty fruity?" Krusha mumbled. "I... have I heard of you before?"<br>"May or may not," Tooty quickly said. "I was kidnapped by an ugly old witch once. It was all over the news, let me tell you! Anyway, here it is."  
>She led them inside, said goodbye, went on her way just as quickly again. The two would-be bad guys thanked her quickly before approaching the first person inside.<p>

"Hey, Mr. Doctor person thingy!" Klump said to the penguin standing at the doorway. The bird didn't budge.  
>"My friend here is unwell can we get inside please I promise I won't bite if you do," he said without taking the time to take a breath.<br>"Excuse me," the penguin mumbled, not listening at all. "Firstly, I'm not the doctor, and secondly, you will have to wait in the waiting room, will you? Thanks."  
>Reluctantly, the two bad guys both took place in a much too tiny chair each. A small rhino kid was sitting next to them. He was obviously scared. His mother told him to go sit on the chair next to her.<br>"I don't think that big ol' scary crocodile will bite you, Johnny," the mom said. "At least I hope... hey, mister! You don't bite, do you?"  
>Klump frowned and cast a single angry glance at the madam.<br>"I dun' like yer attitude, miss," he said. "No, of course I won't bite. Not all of us are like that, you know? Shut it now, I've got it bad enough already."  
>The rhino madam decided it would be better for her to take another seat as well. "My, my, what cheek," she mumbled. Luckily for her, no-one heard it. At least, she thought so.<br>Krusha, meanwhile, started snivelling.  
>"What's wrong, bud?" Klump asked.<br>"It got worse," Krusha whined. "Can we get in now... please?"  
>"I'm 'fraid we have t' wait, Krusha," his friend said. "Bloody hospitals..."<br>Just as he said that, another penguin in a white coat came waddling into the waiting room.  
>"Who would be next?" he said. The rhino mother fearfully pointed at the two Kremlings, while muttering some old-fashioned insults.<br>"Stupid bitch," Klump scoffed.

The penguin put on some rubber gloves. (No, he isn't gonna put them in someone's ass. It's just cleaner) "So, what is it, mister... what's your name?"  
>"Krusha."<br>"Krusha, huh? Anyhow, what's wrong?"  
>Klump interrupted. "Not much of a talker, he is, I'll do the talkin', okay? Say, I woke up today and poor ol' Krusha said he's got pain in his gut. I presume he's eaten something bad, but I may be wrong as usual..."<br>"Did not," Krusha whined.  
>"Did too," Klump argued.<br>"Did not!"  
>"Did too!"<br>They started bickering like two brothers. The penguin doctor did not know what to say.  
>"If you really ate something wrong, we have to get it out..." he said. "Perhaps we can -"<br>"Finger in yer throat, Krusha!" Klump blurted out.  
>"Does that work?" he mumbled and attempted to do so.<br>"No, don't!" the penguin said quickly. But it was too late. The poor Kremling had thrown up all over the floor. The doctor groaned.  
>"Great, now I have to clean up this mess... wait, what... is... that?"<br>Amidst the putrid smell was a small, collectable Dinosaur Planet figurine. It was see-through with lights in it.  
>"That doesn't belong in yer gut, now does it?" Klump mumbled. "Do you feel better now that's gone?"<br>"Yeah... I do," Krusha said, happy he was feeling at least a little bit better now.  
>"But now tell me... why the <em>hell<em> did you eat that thing in the first place?"  
>"It... it looked like candy," Krusha retorted. "K. Rool's gonna be in a bad mood..."<br>"Golly, he'll sure be... heh! Thanks, doc!"  
>They went off without second thoughts... again. They did take the figurine with them (not without washing it beforehand of course) without paying attention to the doctor who had to clean up all this mess. Krusha felt guilty.<br>"Don't be such a worrywart," Klump said while they went on their way back to the landing strip. "Oh, alright... hey, doc!" he raised his voice. "Tell K. Rool he owes you!"  
>The doctor gasped. <em>The<em> King K. Rool? The fearful Kremling King who had attempted to take over DK island, and the world, multiple times? He was too astounded to even say a thing and passed out on the spot. Whether it was from shock or from Krusha's stomach contents will remain unknown.

"Back so soon?" Funky inquired. He was reading a magazine.  
>"Yeah, all better now," Krusha said. "Take us back... please?"<br>"Jeez, Krusha," Klump interrupted... again. Krusha pouted.  
>"We're bad guys, we don't say please, we just do... oh, whatever... Please, funky-monkey?"<br>The ape grinned and started up his plane. "Hop on in," he said. Can't expect everything from a bunch of bad guys.

Once they had reached the mainland again, the two villains went back to their hideout as fast as they could. Once they went into the cave, they saw K. Rool snivelling on his bed, face-down.  
>"Gone! Oh, my life sucks!" he said, wallowing in self-pity. "What should I do now?"<br>Klump approached him cautiously. "Um... King K'Rool, sir?" he ventured. "We got you... your figurine."  
>He barely finished his sentence or the king rose up, demanding his general to give him the prized possession. Once he finally had the small, see-through figure in his claws, he almost bounded about in happiness.<br>"Oh, thank you, general," he exclaimed joyfully. "Tell me, where did you find it, hm? Spare me no details!"  
>Klump was about to tell him about it, but Krusha hit him on the head. Even though his helmet somewhat softened the blow, it still startled him, obviously.<br>"Hey! What didya do that for, Krusha?" he asked, adjusting his helmet that had been shoved over his eyes. Krusha nudged him.  
>"I think we better don't tell him." He mumbled.<br>K. Rool, still in the progress of parading around with his prized object, suddenly pulled in one of his claws, realizing something.  
>"Eyuh! Is that..." He examined it more closely. "...drool?"<br>Before he was able to confirm it, his two lackeys had already hot-footed it out of the cave.

**The end.**


End file.
